It's a tough choice-and sometimes you only have A. no B, C.

Euthanasia - everybody has a love/hate relationship with it. It is one of those truths that every horse owner must face at some point - although some try to avoid it by giving or selling the horse away prior to the end of life. I never have. I've always met it head on. That's just me.

There is the possibility that you might meet it in spite of everything due to illness or injury. Colic, poisoning, broken bones, - there are just any number of things that can lead to the decision of now or later - and sometimes there is no later.

In the past year, I have lost four horses. Only one died without me. I lost two within 72 hours. This has been a grueling year emotionally. Yet - would I do it again? Yes - without a doubt.

As an owner, my philosophy is that I have made a commitment to them to make sure that ALL their days are taken care of, and, when those days are ended, that they exit life as quickly and as painlessly as I can possibly make it. I have to love them ENOUGH to let them go. It is my responsibility to love them so much that I am unwilling to allow them to suffer, be put through ownership changes that confuse them and frighten them, face auctions, face uncertain deaths of starvation, abuse, or a slaughterhouse, and to be certain of their proper burial/disposal. It is their RIGHT as a creature of God. It is my duty to comply with that right.

So I lost my stallion, Buddy; Suleimon, my gelding and partner for 26 years; Yitzhak, another gelding, aged 17 who was the first foal born here; and Allura, my Arabian broodmare and Queen of the pastures. The pastures seem to have such huge holes in them where they are supposed to be. The fence line seem bereft of their presence looking for me.

I fulfilled my responsibility and duty towards them. I loved them enough.

The photograph

For any who might be interested--yes, that is one of my horses, and yes, I took the photo. It happens to be my half-tarpan, half-arab stallion, WP Asher aka "Buddy" and the camera was a digital. Buddy was just in the yard on a picket line grazing that day and I decided that he needed his picture taken. (We're still working out the details of who is in charge when I'm astride--it's okay that I'm up there--he just doesn't see the point in my having anything to do with decision-making--especially if the girls come to watch! He's not ugly about it-just doesn't see the point.)

And, yes, we'll entertain thoughts of his being a dad--if the right mare comes along. So far, none has although he swears she has--several times. He wishes his mom wasn't so darn picky.